Panic in UK as doctors confirm patient infected with Ebola virus is probably white

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

The world is facing a nightmare scenario after doctors confirmed that tests show a woman infected with the Ebola virus at Northampton General Hospital is almost certainly white.

A spokesman for the hospital told the Press Association:

I can confirm that we have a case of Ebola with a suspected white person. The patient’s skin is unfortunately showing definite signs of visible paleness and we can now sadly confirm that her eyes are most probably blue.

The hospital has not released any further details but it is understood the woman had recently travelled abroad and may have had contact with some of the dark-skinned foreigners who live there.

The Ebola virus was previously thought to be benign – killing mostly black people and transmitted only by direct contact with the bodily fluids of other infected foreigners such as Africans, Asians or other non-Europeans – but the disease has recently become more malignant…

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